The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
