Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
