conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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