you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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