Nicole vs. Life
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We left the knife in your bed.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
