U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
