The maid of honor just puked.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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