So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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