New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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