he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
