You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
