we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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