My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
