that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
