Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
