I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
