all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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