I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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