Jerry, you need to find god
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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