sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
