Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
