the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
