On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
