Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
