Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
