my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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