Plan B is the new Plan A
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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