you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
