Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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