Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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