i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
