I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
