at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Randomize
