Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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