You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
