I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
