Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
