I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
