elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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