I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
