whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
