just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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