Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The best revenge is premature balding
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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