As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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