I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
