I think I am morally bankrupt
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
