I think i sorta joined a cult last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
