you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
