How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
