If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
