Your tits are I can't wait for
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
