I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
