can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
